Comments
1) Comments on my blog
I have got the 3 comments on my second Blog Draft. They read my Blog Draft interestingly and informative, but said me something what I have to correct a sentence for good paragraph. First, Hojung said me, 'Please write down more supporting sentences.' Because I used word 'various aspects', readers needs several reasons to understand. However, I did not write 'several' reasons, there is only one reason. Therefore I corrected word just 'It is clear'. Second, Sojin suggested me like 'change your writing as one paragraph without using space until the paragraph is ended.' I absolutely agree this suggestion, but I cannot take care of this problem on time. In addition, she suggested that I should use at least one reference. Third, Chaeyeon agree my paragraph. She and her friend started Instagram for only sharing of pictures. In short, I've got the 3 comments on my second Blog Draft, and they suggested me for various aspects. Their comments are very useful for me.
2) Comments on other blog
Blog Draft #1
EW2-020 T/Th
Hi June,
I think so too. I heard that Seoul's internet system is best of world. My friends have come back from Europe travel at the last vacation, and she said, "I can't find easily free Wi-Fi zone! It was so inconvenient". I think we live in convenient city.
Have a good weekend.
Jieun.
EW2-047 T/Th
Hello Jihye,
Incredible! I am so surprised because you have over 15 different lipsticks. You are right, I was tempted to spend money for cosmetic at any street too, but we have to get rid bad habits. Then I think Seoul makes a lot of park good for excercise, and you make the best use of that.
Have a good weekend,
Jieun.
EW2-047 T/Th
Hello Hyeji,
You live really wonderful environment! I will go to the Cherry Blossom Festival sometime. However, I had to search where is Suri Mountain, so I think you write that it is placed in Gunpo. Your post is very interesting and makes me envy you.
Have a good weekend,
Jieun.
Blog Draft #2
EW2-060 T/Th
Hi Jae min,
I absolutely agree your paragraph. The night of Seoul is very convenient and beautiful. However, I want to read specific data in your paragraph. I think that you can find any data in www.kostat,go.kr. It'll be helping you.
Have a good day,
Jieun.
EW2-047 T/Th
Hello Jiyon,
Thank you for giving me many information in your paragraph. I really want to visit SF. I think you lived at SF, right? Your descriptions are very specific! However, I want to read specific data in your paragraph. It'll be difficult to find the data about SF, but I suggest you find it and please write it.
Thank you for reading my comments,
Jieun.
EW2-035 W/F
Hi Chaeyeon,
I absolutely agree with your paragraph. A travel with friends has many advantages. However, I suggest you add the specific data. If you visit www.kostat.go.kr, you can find any data about your paragraph.
Thank you for reading my comments,
Jieun.